where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
