uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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