My liver just broke up with me...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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