Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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