Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i think i have two assholes
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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