I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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