I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
