ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
