Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
