The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
