So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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