So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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