Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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