There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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