she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
