If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
