Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
