turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
