I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
