Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
