just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
