Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
