So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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