Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
