Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
