okay pat passed out under dana's car
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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