My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
