I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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