So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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