i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
