dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
