if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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