i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
