3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
