Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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