? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
