Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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