omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The adults are the big ones right?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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