theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
