operation have a gay friend backfired
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
