standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
