I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize
