Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
