i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We got so high we made milksteak
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
