end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
