I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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