In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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