"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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