he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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