week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
