This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
