yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
