Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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