hotel room ftw
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
